Don’t Give Up

It’s been a year now my boy was called home to be with the Lord.

I found myself cleaning the house. It started off as a gloomy day but the sun did peak through gently. Long enough for me to step outside and start a little workout.

I have neglected myself and my self care for a very long time but today was…let’s say a little different. I had a little extra push.

As I started my own little routine of push-ups, ab crunches and body squats. I decided to do a pyramid down from 24 minus 2 for each round.

By the time I was at 18 reps I was already talking myself out of finishing what I started.

It started to become too much and my body started to fatigue. No way was I going to finish this. What was I thinking?

Suddenly, in a small still voice I could hear “don’t give up, keep going.”

Is this what my son experienced when he was working on his recovery? Did he have a plan but then it became too difficult? Was that why he would have multiple relapses? I began to get choked up as I was pushing through this difficult task I set out to do.

I heard that soft little voice again “don’t give up, keep going. “

I did. I kept pushing through and what I realized was that by the time I got to 10 reps each I no longer thought or felt it was difficult. It was like my body and my mind connected and instead of giving up I pushed through it and finished what I set out to do.

I prayed for God to help me finish what I had started. I prayed that I wouldn’t let my boy down and give up when it became difficult.

I guess we are all so easy to give up when things in our lives are or become difficult but today I learned a very important lesson. Don’t give up! Things do get better.

Continue reading “Don’t Give Up”

Only with God

Lord, thank you for always being present for me. Thank you Lord for walking with me the last 365 days.
I believe that anything is possible. I believe Lord that You have supplied me with all that I needed the past year after You called my boy home.
It was my faith, my belief, my desire to know you; to come to you with my hurts, my pains, and my glories and it was only possible for me to get through each day because You protected me. You lifted me. You encouraged me and You instilled HOPE in my life.
Lord, a year ago I was on my knees. I was crying out to you. I couldn’t believe my boy was gone.
The house was full of people all day long. You sent people to come to pray with me and support me during the darkest time of my life.
Thank you Lord for all the friends and family you placed in my life.
Today, one year later the house that was once filled with people coming and going. People chatting, people crying, hugging and offering their love, their prayers, their support is now….Quiet…Quiet.
No one is coming through the door anymore instead, those who still remember the pain and suffering of that day, they are still sending me their love, their prayers and their continued support through text, social media and phone calls.
So Lord, I thank You for your gratefulness. I thank You for your love. Your peace. Your kindness through each and every person that took the time to keep me, Avaeh and Mikey my beloved son in their hearts yesterday and today.
My Lord, I pray for blessings over my friends and family. I pray that whatever they may be in need of right now that you fill them and supply them with fruits of Your Holy Spirit.