Dear God

Dear God,

It’s been some time since I truly reached out to you. My soul is weary and heavy burdened. I didn’t realize until today just how I longed for you.

I didn’t truly understand the relationship I would have with you and how long you have searched for me.

I believe it was when my little brother, my best friend drowned at the very young age of 14. He had so much to live for. I still don’t understand God the why? I was just 19 years old and newly married and my husband now ex- husband was there with him and his two friends when the canoe capsized.

I will never understand what happened but I know that I will someday, when we are all together in eternity.

God, you were always there in the midst of my grief and I didn’t even know it. You held me up and gave me the strength to carry on.

My second greatest loss was that of my only child.  Battling addiction for over 13 years until you reached out your hand and carried him home to you. 

You were there for me every single day.  Your presence was with me. I will never forget how tightly I held on to your loving hand.   I was afraid to let go. If I did, I feared the worst.

I feared I would drown in my sorrow.  I feared I would not survive this loss.  I feared I would not know who I would become without my beloved child.

But, You showed me the way.  In Jeremiah 29:11 You reminded me that You had plans for me.  Plans to prosper me and not harm me, plans to give me hope and a future.  

I thank you for your promises, your love, and mercies every day.

Dear God, thank you for loving me.