On This Mother’s Day

Here I am again, my third mother’s day without you.

My heart broken. My mind racing. I don’t want to get up out of bed. I don’t want to see anyone. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I just want to get lost in all the memories of you.

It’s like I’m a stranger on this day. Many don’t really know what to say, afraid to hurt my feelings.

“Do I wish her a Happy Mother’s day?” Do I send a “Thinking of you today?” Or “you are loved and thought of on this day?”

I feel bad for so many who struggle and rustle with finding just the right words to say on this Mother’s day.

Truth be told, I’m just grateful and honored to be thought of today. Me…your mother because they still remember you as my son! They keep your memory alive by thinking of me.

While I don’t feel ike celebrating, I do muster a nudge to get up and go outside and let nature fill me with hope.

I am grateful I did because I would have missed capturing the beautiful dragonfly that circled around me endlessly.

I allowed my myself to follow its presence as it weaved in and out and through. I knew then it was you!

I smiled for the first time as I could hear you say, “mom, I’m here, look all around. I’m everywhere just look!”

Then, I am reminded that I do feel love and joy. After all, God chose me; little me to be your mother.

What an honor that God chose me to be your mother.

Proverbs 23:25 says “let your father and mother have joy, and let her who gave birth to you rejoice.”

Then He reminds me again why He chose me in Proverbs 31:29 because He says: ” There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you, surpass them all.”

Right there and then my heart was lifted and blessed that God felt and knew that I would surpass any other woman to be your mother.