My dear boy, sitting here thinking of you as I take a deep breath and acknowledge that it’s 22 months today since you were called to be with the Lord.
The pain is not as heavy as it was 22 months ago but my love has grown deeper and stronger for you each passing day.
I don’t cry as much when I think of you and sometimes it leaves me feeling lost and confused because I feel I should cry even still.
I believe that I don’t cry as much because the pain, hurt, and loss has been replaced with joyous memories of you.
I cling on to the memories; the smiles, the laughter and the stories we shared. The times that brought joy and happiness into my life.
I try to replace my pain with the sweet memories of you every chance I get.
I can look at your pictures, watch your videos and listen to your songs and I can smile now. I know when I smile you smile. You always wanted your mumma to smile.
You would stare at me, with your head slightly tilted to one side, your eyes gazed at me and just smile back and say “I love you, my lady, you know that right?”
You always let me know just how much you loved me and you always reminded me of your love as I would you.
I wake up each day with a grateful heart. I thank God for opening my eyes every morning and I feel so blessed to see the sun beaming through the window as I sit next to you each morning.
Losing you brought me from a place of darkness to a place of light. The Bible says “be not grieved and depressed, for the Lord is your strength and stronghold” Nehemiah 8:10. I know now, that each passing day I am one day closer to seeing you again.
It brings me peace knowing that you are safe. You have no worries, doubts or regrets. You are now full of life.
You are LIFE….
I Am Life 