It’s been two years now and I had my son’s second Heavenly birthday celebration.
He has been gone now for 15 months and I’ve gone through all the “firsts”…now, well…it’s year two.
I’m ashamed to say I can’t remember the last time I had a birthday party for him. I believe maybe 9 or 10 years old was the last.
It was shortly after that when trouble started around age 12 and then my focus and attention was trying to make things right.
Don’t get me wrong we always remembered and had our own little quiet birthday but that never included friends or family.
Then of course the last 13 years he was hardly ever around. The substance use took hold of him and I never again had my boy to celebrate his birth date.
We would always get together “after” he was ok and we’d go shopping and have dinner and enjoy each moment while we had it to enjoy.
It always broke my heart to pieces to be in his presence and yet feel so far removed from him. When I looked in his eyes I would see so much hurt and regret as he would try to keep a smile so his momma wouldn’t worry.
The cycle of addiction took hold of my boy for many years. I grieved for my son everyday much like I still do today.
With an aching heart and my full trust in God to hear that little inner voice that said “you will do what you need to do to celebrate his birth date” and at that very moment I felt compelled to have a birthday celebration for friends and family.
To have his friends and our family come togethrr and celebrate his birthday with me and his daughter warms my heart.
I never had the opportunity to do this while he was alive but I know now my son is with me everyday. I know that my son will never ever miss another birthday or another holiday again.
He may not be physically present but he is spiritually present and I will honor his birthday every year until I have no breath left.
My granddaughter, his daughter who is now 4 years old will always remember and honor her daddy. She didn’t have much time with him but she loves her daddy just the same.
I can’t wait until I see him again. To finally see a smile full of happiness and joy.
I love you baby and Happy Heavenly Birthday!
I Am Life 