My second Mother’s day without my son. My first was just so new and fresh just a little over a month after he was called home.
It was a wet, cold rainy day and I along with my sister and a few close friends participated in the 5k “A Mothers Hope” walk.
My dear friend Susan, founder of Plymouth County Outreach was to announce my son’s memorial scholarship. The Michael Anthony Richman Memorial Scholarship.
The day was wet, cold and raw and was perfectly fitting for how I felt deep inside after losing my son to the demon of addiction.
It was also a day of gratefulness. I was grateful and honored to have this memorial scholarship named after my beloved son.
How could I be so sad and broken but still feel gratitude and hope? I believe it was God’s love and grace for me that I was able to find gratitude in the midst of my sorrow.
In Revelation 21:4 says:
“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
Today, a year later as I sit here a little lost and confused while I still wrestle with the thought of “how did I get here?” I realize the questions that I have may never be answered but that I shall wait on the Lord to reveal the answers when I am joined with my son in heaven.
Today, this Mother’s day is not like the past. It is not wet, cold and rainy but sunny with blue skies and scattered white fluffy clouds. The birds are singing, the tree branches wrestling with the wind. His wind chimes that hangs from a plant hanger by his memorial tree plays a sweet melody and I can hear the church bells ringing from a distant.
I pause for a moment and stare up at the sky and smile.
I smile as I imagine my son up above those white fluffy clouds looking down on me showing me that there is always sunshine and many gifts in this world for me to be grateful for.
Psalm 73:26 says:
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
I could not be here if I didn’t put all my trust, faith and hope in God.
As I reflect on this day I am reminded of the many gifts that God has created and surrounded me with that bring love, joy and hope to my aching heart.
I know God is with me. He never leaves me and continues to give me hope.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”
Romans 15:13
After all, I am a child of God and He gave me the gift of motherhood.
He may be my only child, my only son and I will always be his mother and I am so honored and grateful to call my boy – my son.
I Am Life 